The Way Back Home
by JustlikeWater
Summary: Dean finds the chance to be happy and, for once, he takes it.


**A/N: This takes place mid-Season 10. In this fic, Sam doesn't consult Rowena for help and Dean doesn't beat up Cas. However, he does still have the Mark of Cain**.

* * *

 _Djinn: a rare race of supernatural cave dwelling hermits that have the power to produce powerful hallucinations inside the minds of humans._

 _..._

"Dammit, voicemail again. Alright, hey, Cas, it's Sam. Listen, Dean's gone. He's not at the bunker or Bobby's old place or anywhere else I can think of. I'm still looking, but I don't know where he'd go, man. I've called his phones like twenty times each but they've all been disconnected. He didn't leave a note or anything either and he…he ditched the Impala too. I found it in some abandoned lot on the outskirts of Lebanon a few hours ago. I'm worried he's gonna do something stupid, Cas. Stupid and dangerous. He left everything. Didn't even bother grabbing the blade. Call me back when you get this, I need your help."

* * *

When Dean wakes up, the first thing he notices is the impossibly warm bundle curled up next to him. The second thing he notices, is that that warm bundle is kissing the side of his neck.

"Mm, good morning to you too, Cas," Dean murmurs, grinning and snuggling closer.

"You sleep like the dead, you know that?" Cas says, rubbing his stubbled cheek against Dean's. "I've been saying your name for five minutes and you didn't even notice."

"M' sorry, sweetheart, lemme make it up to you." His hand travels south in a heartbeat, but Cas wriggles his hips away before Dean can do anything fun.

"No, Dean," Cas scolds. "We don't have time for that."

"Cas," he whines, pressing a few pleading kisses against Cas's jaw. "C'mon, baby, some morning nookie would be a great way to start the day."

Cas rumbles a laugh and nuzzles his face into the side of Dean's neck. "I doubt your mother would like us to copulate in her nice guest bedroom."

Dean smirks. "Again, you mean?"

"Yes, Dean, once was bad enough. Look at the mess we made!" Cas sweeps his arm out in demonstration and, yeah, they might've knocked over some furniture and maybe ripped a few articles of clothing last night, but so what? A few torn shirts and lopsided shelves were a small price to pay for the mind-blowing experience they'd had in bed. And on the floor. And against the wall.

And possibly in the bathtub too.

"So? What can I say, Cas, we're too hot to handle." Dean gives him a wicked grin and runs a flattened palm over the sharp jut of Cas's bare hip. Cas bites his lip and turns his head away.

"Just a kiss," Dean bargains, when Cas's resolve doesn't break. "Kiss me and I'll get up."

Cas peers at him from the corner of his eye. "Just one kiss?"

 _That's all I'll need to get the ball rolling, hot stuff._

"Just one," Dean agrees innocently.

With a grin, Cas rolls over and kisses him square on the mouth. It's delicious and lazy, a slow slide of lips and languid movements, but he pulls away the moment Dean tries to deepen it and escalate things.

"We are not having sex right now," Cas repeats sternly, but it's hard to hear what he's saying because his eyes are bright and his mouth is all delectable and rosy-red and freaking distracting as hell.

" _Babe,"_ Dean groans in complaint, flopping on his back. "Just a quickie! Fifteen minutes tops."

"Nope." Cas says, leaping out of bed and picking his clothes off the floor. "Sam said we need to help with the decorations and the setup before your mother comes home from her spa weekend. It is a surprise party, Dean, so we're working on a time table."

"Ugh." Dean throws his forearm over his eyes. "Sammy's tall and Jess is smart, why do they need us to arrange tables and hang stuff?"

"Tell you what," Cas says, pulling on a blue button-down that tragically hides his hickey-covered chest. "If we get the decorating done before noon, you and I can sneak off somewhere and I will do that… _thing_ that you like so much."

At that, Dean perks up like a bird dog. "You will?"

Cas nods solemnly, as if this is a matter of grave importance. Which, yeah, it kind of is. "I will, Dean. Twice, even."

 _Holy mother of_ —

Dean's out of bed and pulling on a shirt before Cas can blink. "Whaddaya say we go arrange some tables, hm, hot stuff?"

* * *

"Hey, Cas, it's—"

"Yes, I know it is you, Sam. You are currently the only one with this number, aside from Dean."

"Well, what did you find? Angel radio have anything helpful?"

"No, I'm…I'm still not entirely 'in the loop' with what is occurring in heaven. But the few short clips I did manage to hear did not pertain to Dean."

"Shit. _Shit._ That makes things really freaking difficult. How the hell are we supposed to spread the word, Cas? I can't tell other hunters, otherwise they'll go after Dean's ass too, and it sure as hell won't be to save him. And I know you can't ask any angels directly either, because they'll try to smite him too. I just…I don't know what we're supposed to do here, man."

"We keep looking, Sam. That is what we do."

"But where? Hell, I don't even know why he left in the first place! He just freaking disappeared."

"The last time I spoke to Dean, he was angry. Understandably, of course, but—oh. Sam, I'm afraid I have to hang up, I've just spotted a demon. I will contact you when I can."

"Wait, Cas—"

"Goodbye, Sam."

* * *

Mom's apple pie is to freaking _die_ for. She bakes it so that the crust is buttery and flaky and the filling is the perfect mix between sweet, golden syrup and warm slices of fresh, Granny Smith apples. And God almighty, the cinnamon she sprinkles on top? Freaking _inspired._

"Jesus, Dean, should I book the two of you a hotel room or something?"

Pft. Sam's never appreciated the finer things in life.

"I can't help the sounds I make, Sammy," he replies, not bothering to bottle another blissed out moan as he takes his next bite. "This is a slice of freaking heaven."

"Keep it up and I'll have to tell Cas you're seeing someone else," Sam teases, raising a brow.

"You're just jealous you don't have the raw sexual chemistry he and I have," Dean says around another mouthful. "Hell, I can _still_ feel it and he's two states away."

Sam cuts himself a second slice. "Speaking of which, when's he coming back?"

Dean takes a long drink of milk. "Well, Gabe convinced him to stay in Colorado for a week longer, so he won't be back until Friday. It sucks, but hey, that just means more time for me and my favorite little sister."

Sam gives him his patent Bitchface. "Dean, if you make one more crack about my hair—"

"Dude," Dean interrupts with a laugh, "that ain't hair. At this point, it's got a mind of its own. I mean, you wear it in a freaking _ponytail_. Shouldn't that say it's time for a haircut?"

"Whatever. You wanna grab a bite with Jess and I later?"

Dean scrunches up his nose. "That depends. Is it gonna be one of those granola hippy vegan places you guys are always going to?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "No, we all know you're morally opposed to salad. We were thinking about going to that new burger joint in the Plaza."

"Burgers? Shoot, count me in, baby bro."

* * *

"Hey, Al, it's Sam."

"Sam? As in Sam Winchester, John's boy?"

"Yeah! Uh, listen, I know it's been a while since I've called—"

"I thought you were dead, boy."

"No, still alive and well. Now, I wanted to know if—"

"Hold on there, kid. Before we go any further, I gotta say something."

"Uh, sure. Go on."

"I'll be honest with you, Sam, you don't got a great reputation out here right now. The stuff I've heard other hunters sayin' about you and your brother ain't flattering. It's dark stuff. Real dark."

"Oh."

"Any of it true?"

"What've they been saying?"

"That you boys been working with the king of Hell and Dean's gone dark-eyes."

"No it's—look, that doesn't matter, Al. I just need your help with something. You don't even have to lift a finger, I just need some answers."

"Fine. But I'm only doin' this because I got a lotta respect for your old man, bless his soul."

"Okay, great. I was wondering if there's been anything weird happening in the neighborhood lately, like mass killings or huge demon wipeouts or something."

"No, it's been quiet as the country over here."

"Damn. Okay, what about changes in weather patterns? Mysterious murders?"

"No and no."

"Alright. Hey, well, if anything changes, call me."

"Sam, this is for a hunt, ain't it?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

* * *

Among other things, Dean is proud to say his boyfriend is a damn good kisser.

"Jesus, Cas, you better slow down unless you wanna give these nice people a free show," Dean jokes, reluctantly pulling away from the gorgeous blue-eyed man before him.

Cas peers around the airport, as if seriously contemplating Dean's proposal. "I suppose that might be frowned upon," he decides, somewhat dejectedly. "I just missed you. A lot." He sneaks a quick kiss against Dean's jaw and then pulls him into yet another hug. "I could not stop thinking about you, Dean. I hate being away from you."

"I missed you too, baby," he says into Cas's hair. He smells like warm skin and soap and that strange, unnamable scent that is purely _Cas._

He smells like home.

"So," Dean says as he helps Cas shove his luggage into the car. "Tell me all about your wild adventures with Gabe."

"The moment I arrived, he told me I needed to 'broaden my horizons'," Cas says, making exaggerated quotes with his fingers. He steps into the car when Dean opens the door for him and dutifully buckles up.

"And did you?" Dean asks, sliding behind the wheel.

Cas cringes. "Against my will, yes. He took us to a small restaurant wherein they served only insects and strange fruit. I ate a deep fried cricket, Dean. A _cricket_."

"Well that's…nice."

"No, it was not. It was traumatizing. After that, he told me I was not adventurous enough, so we went to a strip club."

"Male or female?"

"Female."

Dean snorts. "And how was that?"

"Gabriel was very invested in the performance, but I myself felt quite uncomfortable. It was too hot in there, the women wouldn't stop touching me, and everything felt…sticky."

Now, he's really laughing. "Yup, that's a strip joint for ya. Anything else?"

"We spent the rest of the weekend doing something called 'fly fishing,' which, contrary to the name, has nothing to do with catching flies."

Dean chuckles. "So I take it you had a pretty OK time?"

"I did." Cas says, leaning his head against the window. "But as enjoyable as the visit was, Gabriel told me something very troubling."

Dean glances at him. "What'd he say?"

Cas sighs. "He told me he is going to endeavor to arrange a family reunion of sorts. On paper, that seems like a good idea, but Michael hasn't spoken to either of us in a year, so I have my reservations about his plan."

"What about your oldest brother? Luci?"

"Lucifer has been living on the other side of the planet for the past decade," he states bitterly. "I highly doubt he has any interest in speaking to me or Gabriel. And I know for a fact that he won't even bear the mere _mention_ of Michael."

They reach a stoplight and Dean turns to look at Cas. "I'm sorry, baby. Family sucks ass sometimes."

"They do," Cas agrees sadly.

"You should invite Gabe down here," Dean says, patting Cas's knee. "He's a cool guy and I'm sure he'd get along with everyone great. Mom's wanted to meet at least one of your brother's for ages now, too, so I'm sure she'd be down to give up a guest bedroom."

Cas turns to look at him with a mixture of surprise and excitement. "Really?"

"Yeah, really! Hell, you could've brought Gabe three years ago when we first got together, and it still would've been fine. You and your family are always welcome here, Cas. Don't forget that."

At the next stoplight, Cas leans over and kisses Dean once, sweetly. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean smiles and strokes his thumb over Cas's cheekbone. His eyes are so bright and blue and _open_ that Dean feels like he could fall right into their depths.

"Anything for you, angel."

* * *

"Hello, Sam, this is Castiel. I assume you did not answer your phone because you are busy on a hunt or are currently preoccupied looking for Dean. I am calling to inform you that there have been no mass-killings or widespread murders anywhere across the country. I checked. Wherever Dean went, he did not kill anything along the way. I will request a meeting with Hannah and discuss possible methods of locating a missing person, but I will be sure not to explicitly mention Dean or his situation. Once, when we posed as Federal Agents, Dean taught me how to be 'subtle,' so I should be fine. Contact me when you can, I will hopefully have news to give you upon my return. Goodbye.

* * *

Just when Dean thinks his life cannot possibly get any better, his brother and Jess sit the family down one night and announce that Jess is pregnant.

Pregnant. With a _baby._

Sammy's gonna have a kid and Dean's gonna be an uncle, and he honest to freaking God is gonna to start shedding some tears soon if Sam doesn't stop grinning at everyone and touching Jess's stomach.

Fucking hell, it's a girl, too.

Dean knows within two-point-five seconds of finding that out that he's going to spoil his niece rotten. And God help them if she ends up inheriting Sam's puppy eyes, because he's pretty sure if she has those in her arsenal, everyone on the freaking planet is gonna be bending to her every whim.

Dean can't _wait_.

"Congrats, baby brother," Dean says, grabbing Sam and pulling him into a suffocating hug. "I'm so happy for you, man. So damn happy."

He hears Sam sniffle, and then give a watery chuckle. "I'm gonna be a dad, Dean. I'm gonna have a _daughter."_

"I know, Sammy," he says, holding his brother tighter. "And you're gonna be the best goddamn father out there."

* * *

"Cas, I found something."

"What is it?"

"I talked with a ring of hunters a few cities back, and apparently a pretty serious summoning spell went down a month ago."

"A month ago?"

"Yeah, four weeks to be exact. The same time Dean went missing."

"What was the summoning spell for, Sam?"

"A djinn."

* * *

"Cas, I…I don't really know how to do this."

Shit, could his palms get any sweatier? How is it suddenly a hundred freaking degrees in here? Why does it feel like everyone in the restaurant is staring at him? Holy fuck, is he even worthy of this man? Should he really ask Cas to stick with him forever? Is this okay?

"Cas, baby, I'm just gonna start by saying I love you. You know that. Hell, I love you more than I love myself sometimes. You're just—incredible. You're always at my side, you put up with my shit no matter how bitchy I'm being, and you make my day brighter just by smiling. Just by _looking_ at me. I...I've never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life."

Holy hell. Holy Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. This is happening, he's actually going through with this. Is Cas gonna like the ring? Is the engraving too cheesy? Is this proposal looking as clumsy as it feels? Is he doing this right?

"You know me, Cas, big time commitment has always kinda freaked me out. But, um, not with you. I've never been scared by the thought of being with you forever. In fact, when I _am_ scared of something, or hurt or angry, I just think of what it would be like to spend our lives together, to grow old together, and that calms me down."

Cas's eyes are welling up—is he sad? Is he upset because he's gonna have to turn Dean down in front of everyone? Is this little monologue of his so shitty it's brought the guy to tears? _Sonovabitch_ if his heart pounds any harder, it's gonna break right through his chest and land on the floor.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, you are the best damn thing that's ever happened to me, sweetheart. I love you so much and all I want is to have you by my side for the rest of our lives. And…and I know I may not deserve you—with all your patience and kindness and loyalty—but I'm gonna ask anyway because I'm a selfish sonovabitch."

Deep breath. In, out. Look him in the eyes, hold up the ring, try not to cry. C'mon, he's rehearsed this enough times. Time to say those four little words. This is it.

"Will you marry me?"

And wonder of all wonders, Castiel says _yes_.

* * *

"I got the location, Cas. He's in a warehouse in Lawrence."

"I will go there immediately."

"Alright. Talk to you then—"

"Wait, Sam."

"What is it, Cas?"

"Do…do you think it is possible that Dean is no longer alive? It typically only takes about a week for a djinn to drain its victims, and Dean has been under its spell for more than a month..."

"He's alive, Cas. The mark, remember? It won't let him die. And I think…I think he might've known that when he summoned the djinn."

"Known what?"

"That he wouldn't die. I guess he just figured if he was going to live forever, he might as well do it in some perfect fantasy land."

"That makes sense."

"Yeah."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Do you think we are doing the right thing by taking him back? If he is happy living in his 'fantasy land' then wouldn't it be selfish to remove him?"

"No, we have to, Cas. He's my brother and he's your—you know. You want him back, don't you?"

"Of course, Sam."

"Then we have to do this."

* * *

Dean isn't sure which is better, the fact that he's surrounded by family and good food, or the fact that he has yet again beat Sam at rock, paper, scissors.

"You cheated!" Sam accuses, after losing four times in a row. Beside him, Jessica holds back a giggle and pats his arm consolingly.

Dean laughs. "How the hell do you cheat at rock, paper, scissors? Ain't my fault you always go with paper, Sammy."

"Would you boys stop pestering each other for one minute?" Mary scolds good-naturedly. "We have a guest for goodness sake!"

Gabe smirks and darts his eyes between Sam and Dean. "No worries, Mrs. W, I have a healthy appreciation for a bit of brotherly nettling." He slings his arm over the back of Cas's chair. "I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't, since Cassie and I have our own little cute banter from time to time."

"Cute isn't a word I'd use, Gabriel," Cas mutters.

"Sorry, I forgot that word was reserved for Dean."

Cas turns pink. "Gabriel!"

Dean turns to him and grins. "You think I'm cute, Cas?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "You two are engaged, Dean, shouldn't you have figured that out like five years ago?"

"Hey, I'm allowed to say that our relationship is cute as hell, Sam. It has been and always will be. Ain't that right, baby?"

Cas nods dutifully and pecks Dean on the cheek. "Of course, Dean."

"Dear _god,"_ Gabriel says, making a show of gagging. "If Mr. and Mr. Honeymooner over here don't turn down the adorable, I'm gonna yak. Which would be a shame since this meal has been _très magnifique."_ He turns to Mary with a wink. _"_ Props duly given to you, Mrs. W."

Mary chuckles and shakes her head. "I'm afraid I can't take all the credit, Gabriel. Dean here roasted the chicken _and_ baked both pies."

" _What?"_ Gabriel looks down the table at Dean, his eyebrows hitting his hairline. "You cooked this chicken, Deano?"

Dean shrugs casually. "Yeah, no biggie."

" _No biggie?_ I would _marry_ this chicken if it were legal, pal. No, actually, I'd marry _you_ for cooking it. _"_ He clutches his chest mid-swoon and turns to Cas. "You better watch out, little brother, I am officially in the running for becoming Dean's hubby."

Cas scowls and practically shoves his ring in Gabriel's face. "I think I have a slight advantage, Gabriel."

"Agreed," Dean chimes in, taking a long drink of wine to hide his grin. Cas definitely has a possessive streak in him, and Dean thinks it's endearing as hell when it makes its appearance.

"Dean, honey, would you get the dessert from the kitchen?" Mary asks.

"You got it, mom," he says, leaping out of his chair. "Two mouth-watering pies coming right up!"

* * *

"Holy shit. Cas, come here, I found him. Dean! Dean, come on, wake up man. _Dean!"_

"He does not look well, Sam."

"I know, but—Cas, djinn! Watch out!"

* * *

When Dean comes back into the dining room, he knows immediately that something's wrong. No one's laughing or talking or even _moving—_ they're all just sitting there, blank-faced and still. Dean's stomach drops and he feels cold dread sink in his chest. Eerie silence falls over the dining room like a thick blanket.

"Gabe?" he turns to him and places a hand on his shoulder, but Gabriel feels unmovable and cold like a statue.

His heart thuds in his chest like a drum. "Sammy? Mom?"

They all just stare at him, unseeing and rigid. He flies out of his chair and checks Sam's pulse, then Jess's, and finds that there's nothing. No heartbeat, no rise and fall to their chests, _nothing._ Their eyes are empty voids.

That's when the panic sinks in. A terrified noise wretches itself out of his throat. "What's going on? What's happening? Cas? Baby, please, say something. Do something. Please."

He grabs the sides of Cas's face and kisses him, desperate for any kind of reaction, but when his lips touch Castiel's, they feel like plastic.

"No. You can't take this from me," he shouts to no one, scrambling out of the kitchen like there are hounds at his heels. "You can't fucking do this, not now, not now, please, just give them back!"

* * *

"I killed the Djinn, Cas, but Dean isn't waking up. What do we do now?"

"Wait, Sam, I think his eyelids are moving. Dean? Dean, can you hear me?"

* * *

All around him, things begin to fall apart. The walls tremble, framed photos of him and Sam crash to the floor, lightbulbs explode into showers of sparks. He can hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears, echoing throughout the crumbling house as if there's an amplifier inside his chest. He tries to pick up the phone and call for help, but it dissolves into smoke the moment he touches it. Same happens when he reaches for the door.

"You can't do this, please, just _stop_ ," he shouts to the ceiling, tears blurring his vision. "Just give them back, I'll do anything. Fucking _anything_ , you hear me? Just let me have them, let me be happy!"

No one listens. The destruction doesn't stop. Mary's angel statuettes crash to the floor, her potted plants wither, and the windows around him shatter simultaneously. His wedding ring slides off his finger and disappears in the rubble as he scrambles to get away.

Dean falls to his knees, uncaring as he cuts himself on the broken glass. "My brother's having a fucking kid," he sobs. "I'm married, my family's alive, and the people I love are happy. Why can't I have this? Why the fuck can't I get my happy ending? Do I not deserve anything good? Am I that fucked up?"

The house crumbles. Everything disappears. The last thought Dean has before being crushed by falling plaster is that he feels something evil burning on his left forearm.

* * *

When Dean opens his eyes, he's in a warehouse at the heart of Lawrence, hanging by his wrists with an IV tube sticking out of his neck. He feels faint. Sam and Castiel are staring at him with wide eyes and terrified expressions.

"Dean?" Cas says, gripping his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

He isn't.

"What the fuck were you thinking, man?" Sam roars. "We didn't know where you were for a month. You just dropped off the fucking grid without warning."

Kind of the point, Sam.

"Sam, give him room to breathe," Cas scolds, pulling Sam back so he can't throttle Dean or yell in his face some more. "Dean, say something. Please."

The djinn is dead on the floor and with it, his dreams. He can't think of anything worth saying.

"Dean?"

He rips the tube out of his neck and falls to the floor in a heap. The mark burns steadily on his arm like a throbbing, fresh wound. "I was happy," he says coldly.

"Dean—"

"Don't. I'm leaving." He stands up despite the weakness in his legs and heads for the exit, shrugging off Sam's hand when he reaches for Dean's arm. "And this time, don't fucking follow me."

"Where are you going, Dean?" Cas calls.

"Somewhere better."

He's got things to do, he doesn't need this. There are more djinn out there and Dean has all the time in the world to find them.

* * *

Lily Marianne Winchester is born at exactly ten fifteen on a sunny Thursday morning. Sam and Jess can't stop grinning and crying, and Dean doesn't even have the right to poke fun at them, because he's just as freaking soppy right now.

Cas stands next to him as he holds his baby niece for the first time, smiling at her little face over Dean's shoulder.

"She's perfect, ain't she, Cas?" Dean whispers. She feels so precious and small. He can't even believe she's real.

Mary falls in love with Lily the moment she walks into the room. After a bit of compromising, she and Dean end up sitting sandwiched together on one chair so they can both hold her at the same time.

"Good job, guys," Dean says, looking up at Sam and Jessica with a watery grin. "She's beautiful."

Sitting here, surrounded by his brother, his husband, his mother, and his niece _,_ he couldn't possibly be happier. Dean can't help but think he's finally found perfection.

It feels good to be home.

* * *

 **A/N: Bittersweet, isn't it? I had a blast writing this, so thanks for reading, loves! Please leave a review and tell me what you think!**


End file.
